Marriages Are Made By Us

Kanta and Harshad were having dinner. While talking about her parents, Kanta casually said, “my mother is quite miser!”. Harshad grabbed this opportunity to criticize his mother-in-law and said, “I agree, really she is miser!” This statement annoyed Kanta and she snapped, “Don’t say that. Your mother is much more miser than my mother. That way my mom is so kind and nice, not mean like your selfish mother.” “ How dare you say that for my mother? She has always helped you. What does your mother…”, Harshad continued. Kanta did not allow him to talk further and said, “stop it. Don’t talk a word about my mom.” “You started it all”, shouted Harshad. Series of arguments ended in the sepulchral silence for three days.

 

After about 10 years, Kanta said similar thing, “Don’t you think my mom is miser?” Harshad had become wiser and more mature now. He said, “It’s ok. Different individuals have different behaviours. That is life. World is like that.” By now, he had learned to say nothing in so many words.

We often hear husband and wife saying “my relatives”, “your relatives, “my side people, your side people”. This trend can continue for a long time, and at times, forever.

“There was a phone call from mummy”, said Neela. “Was it your mummy or our mummy?” asked her husband. What does this indicate? Just as one expects a girl to blend with her husband’s family (which may not happen at times), can’t one expect men also to have same norm? In Indian culture, marriages are believed to be a holy connection between two individuals and also two families. There is nothing like an ideal marriage but there are happy marriages. We need to adapt the principle of Rim Basel Bridge which connects two shores of a huge river of a post, but its two wings open out when a huge vessel or a tall steamer has to pass. So we humans should remain connected but at the same time, we should get detached when required to get and give personal space to each other, and to allow the problem to sail through.

 - Pragna Pai.

About Author
Name:	Dr Pragna Pai
Address:	135, Prabhu Nivas, Rd. 9A, Wadala, Mumbai, 4000031
Phone Number:	24149072
Background	Ex-Dean, Sheth G.S. Medical college & KEM Hospital Ex-Director, Medical Education & Major Hospitals
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