Maya went to Newyork to spend some time with her doctor son Suhag. As Suhag’s wife Shashi was also a doctor employed in a hospital, Maya had decided to take charge of cooking as long as she was in Newyork. By doing this, she would spend some time in creative activity and Shashi will get some relief, she thought. But to her surprise, Shashi insisted on doing all the cooking and other work herself. She would cook during week ends and freeze the stuff. Maya did not understand this behaviour. On seeing tired Shashi she used to feel sorry and upset. She again made efforts to convince Shashi to allow her to do at least part of cooking, but Shashi’s reply was ‘mummy, don’t worry. I am managing for last 3 years. You take rest’. Maya failed to understand Shashi’s reluctance to permit her to help. She started feeling workless and worthless.
Be it a busy housewife, daughter-in-law with professional career or a boss in the office – some individuals are adamant on doing everything themselves whether they can cope up or not. Some people enjoy doing this and feel indispensable. Some do not mind it and prefer it that way. There are many who are unhappy doing all the work themselves but do not like others to help them.
Why this mentality? There are three main reasons.
1. Perfectionist attitude and lack of resilience in the methods adopted by others. These individuals insist that everything must be done exactly in the same manner as they have been doing. They feel that others are incapable. In their opinion the end product must also be the same, not worse and not even better. They do not feel like trusting anybody.
2. Like certain animals, some humans are very particular about having their own territory. They resent any invasion. Classical example is a kind and helpful husband who volunteers to cook a dish. But as long as he is working and messing around in the kitchen, he will not allow his wife or anyone else to enter the kitchen. Shashi, perhaps belonged to this category.
3. Fear of success or being displaced, internally competitive attitude and desire to maintain the status of one upmanship do not permit such individuals to take help or co-operation from others and bruise their ego.
Persons belonging to any of the three categories enjoy indulging in self pity as they fail to recognize the benefits of mutual co-operation which can really allow them to enjoy.
Be it a busy housewife, daughter-in-law with professional career or a boss in the office – some individuals are adamant on doing everything themselves whether they can cope up or not. Some people enjoy doing this and feel indispensable. Some do not mind it and prefer it that way. There are many who are unhappy doing all the work themselves but do not like others to help them.
Why this mentality? There are three main reasons.
1. Perfectionist attitude and lack of resilience in the methods adopted by others. These individuals insist that everything must be done exactly in the same manner as they have been doing. They feel that others are incapable. In their opinion the end product must also be the same, not worse and not even better. They do not feel like trusting anybody.
2. Like certain animals, some humans are very particular about having their own territory. They resent any invasion. Classical example is a kind and helpful husband who volunteers to cook a dish. But as long as he is working and messing around in the kitchen, he will not allow his wife or anyone else to enter the kitchen. Shashi, perhaps belonged to this category.
3. Fear of success or being displaced, internally competitive attitude and desire to maintain the status of one upmanship do not permit such individuals to take help or co-operation from others and bruise their ego.
Persons belonging to any of the three categories enjoy indulging in self pity as they fail to recognize the benefits of mutual co-operation which can really allow them to enjoy.
| About Author | |
| Name: | Dr Pragna Pai |
| Address: | 135, Prabhu Nivas, Rd. 9A, Wadala, Mumbai, 4000031 |
| Phone Number: | 24149072 |
| Background |
|
| Photo: |  |
| Recent Articles: | |
No comments:
Post a Comment