"I don’t know when will Pinky learn to behave? She is not good at studies, is lazy to take part in sports, no creative hobby; she only knows to sit in front of TV with a bowl of chips in her lap”, groaned Anita. Pinky was eight years old, above average in studies, could play tennis and badminton and play violin. Anita wanted her daughter to excel in all her activities and have competitive spirit. By her constant nagging, ridicule and negative comparison with high achievers, Anita caused irreparable damage.
All of us are aware of this episode. Father of a fifteen year old boy, while angrily shouting and scolding, asked his son, “Do you know what Pandit Nehru was doing at your age?” “Daddy, I don’t know what he was doing at my age. But at your age, he was the prime minister!” came the reply.
Infants, children, teenagers and even grownups are facing tremendous stress. At times, it is existential stress and often it is situational stress. We tend to justify and generalize stressed out behavior by saying, “cut throat competition, have no choice, can’t help it, bad times, difficult to survive, bad governance”, etc.
Earlier generations not only survived, but happily lived without so many physical, technical or modern amenities. In present times, we have accepted many of physical amenities, comforts and even luxuries, but at a cost. We have sold off our tolerance, satisfaction and mental peace, in our craze to acquire upmanship.
Let us remember that existential and situational difficulties will remain the same- may even worsen. Hence it is imperative to accept our own and our children’s ordinariness rather than getting a sense of defeat in an unhealthy competition. Former U.S. president Kennedy had said that “the techniques for mutual destructions are getting perfected and refined at a much greater pace than the techniques for mental advancement!”. To illustrate this statement, I would like to mention about India. Mahatma Gandhi was killed by a sten gun and Rajiv Gandhi, by a bomb! The world will change only if we change ourselves.
Infants, children, teenagers and even grownups are facing tremendous stress. At times, it is existential stress and often it is situational stress. We tend to justify and generalize stressed out behavior by saying, “cut throat competition, have no choice, can’t help it, bad times, difficult to survive, bad governance”, etc.
Earlier generations not only survived, but happily lived without so many physical, technical or modern amenities. In present times, we have accepted many of physical amenities, comforts and even luxuries, but at a cost. We have sold off our tolerance, satisfaction and mental peace, in our craze to acquire upmanship.
Let us remember that existential and situational difficulties will remain the same- may even worsen. Hence it is imperative to accept our own and our children’s ordinariness rather than getting a sense of defeat in an unhealthy competition. Former U.S. president Kennedy had said that “the techniques for mutual destructions are getting perfected and refined at a much greater pace than the techniques for mental advancement!”. To illustrate this statement, I would like to mention about India. Mahatma Gandhi was killed by a sten gun and Rajiv Gandhi, by a bomb! The world will change only if we change ourselves.
Pragna Pai.
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| Name: | Dr Pragna Pai |
| Address: | 135, Prabhu Nivas, Rd. 9A, Wadala, Mumbai, 4000031 |
| Phone Number: | 24149072 |
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